The Non-Sewer's Guide to Embroidery & Patchwork

I'm not so great at sewing. I've never been formally taught, so I don't know things like how to read a pattern or even how to correctly thread my sewing machine. I call myself a "non-sewer" because the way I do things is by trial and error rather than by skill or technique.

So, if you're interested in playing with fabric but have been too scared to pick up a needle because you're afraid of "doing it wrong," or you are just freaked out by all of the sewing lingo, here's a short tutorial of how I do things--which is by feel, ripping out a lot of stitches, and basically sewing how I'm comfortable sewing, which is, by all professional standards, probably wrong!

If you're an accomplished seamstress, I recommend turning back now!

The Embroidered Patchwork Dachshund; or, "A Weenie of a Project":

What you need:
A pencil and paper (or a printer, if you doubt your sketching skills)
Scissors
Pins
Embroidery needle
Embroidery floss or crochet thread
Scrap fabric
A bit of patience and some imagination!

Note: Most traditional embroiderers use embroidery hoops, which keeps the fabric taut as you stitch. As long as you keep the fabric pulled tight, you really don't need one, especially for small projects. Just don't pull your thread too tight, or the fabric will bunch up.

Step One: Pick Your Poison

First off, decide what kind of shape you want to embroider. It can be anything, but I try to keep it fairly simple.

Today, I felt like sewing a wiener dog in honor of my miniature dachshund, Bentley. So, I looked online and found some dachshund shapes and tried sketch them onto paper. You can also just print one out, but I am sans printer at the moment, so I went old-school.

 Step Two: Cut Out Your Shape, or, "Your Stencil Awaits You"

Whenever you come up with a shape you like, cut it out. This is your stencil.

 Step Three: Pinning is Such Sweet Sorrow

Next, pin your shape onto some fabric. My dachshund is pinned onto white felt just because I had some laying around, and, well, I like sewing with felt. It seems to be a bit easier to handle, and the needle goes through smoothly.

Step Four: Cut Your Fabric!

Now, cut the shape out of the fabric, using your paper-shape as a stencil.

Looky there. Now you've got a paper wiener and a fabric wiener. Or, you know, whatever your shape happens to be.

 Step Five: Lay Out Your Shape

Lay your shape out onto a contrasting fabric. This will be your background. It's a good idea to iron your fabric to make sure it's smooth, but today I was lazy--therefore, wrinkles.

Step Six: More Pinning? Yes, Please!

Pin your shape onto this fabric.

 Step Seven: Pick Your Thread, Not Your Nose

Get out your embroidery thread. I use crochet thread because it's cheaper and works just about the same, but of course it's up to you.

Step Eight: Thread That Needle

For embroidery, you use an embroidery needle, which is larger and has a bigger eye than regular needles. This is to account for the thicker, bulkier thread.

(Never threaded a needle before? Cut a piece of thread and poke one end through the eye of the needle--pull through until about the halfway mark. Your thread will be doubled over, like it looks in the above picture. Tie the two ends together and you've got yourself a threaded needle.)

 Step Nine: A Stitch in Time Saves...Something Something

Now we're going to stitch the shape to the background fabric. I stitched around the edge of the entire shape for a pretty little border.

So, for a basic stitch: 1. Stick your needle up through the back of the fabric and pull the thread through.

2. Stick the needle back through the front of the fabric. It should be fairly close to your first stitch (as shown above).

Voila! You've just completed your first stitch. Pretty easy, right?

Step Ten: Stitch Your Little Heart Out

Now, keep stitching...

...until you've made it around your entire shape.

Step Eleven: Tying Off Your Thread

To tie off your thread, stick your needle through a bit of the fabric in the back (careful; don't stick the needle all the way through or it will show on the front)...

...And tie a knot.

 Step Twelve: The Money's in the Details

If you're feeling frisky, add some details to your shape. What's a wiener dog without floppy ears??

So, not so hard, right? Of course if you're still shaking in your boots, you can do something much simpler, like a heart or even just a circle to start off with. You can add extra baubles to embellish the shape, as well, like buttons, beads, or sequins.

Once you get a hang of the basics, stitching can actually become relaxing. I can doze in front of the TV stitching a wiener dog and watching Sex in the City reruns for hours. Of course, I also don't have a job at the moment, so that may have happened without the stitching. But, I digress...

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the tutorial, and let me know if you try your hand at stitching!