one more time.

Once, we were on the edge together,
balancing on the brink of our sanity;
staying up all night,
drinking vodka and wine,
and laughing until our hearts ached
with the realization that tomorrow
the sun would rise and we would have to
do it all over again
at least
one
more
time.

Decisions, Decisions...

Aaron and I are in the process of deciding where to move. I did not get into grad school at Texas State...but, we still have to move somewhere by the end of May. Aaron still really wants to move to the Austin area. I do, too, but I'm just not sure I'm ready. The economy is still really shaky; we both have jobs here in College Station, and I'm really afraid to leave them without ones waiting for us in Austin. Actually, afraid is an understatement; I'm crazy-scared-out-of-my-mind. It makes my stomach hurt. It keeps me up at night.

I wouldn't mind staying here for awhile longer. I really don't mind College Station. It's not the crazy-hickville I thought it would be.

Worms and such

Everything has changed so much in the last six months. I'm in a new place with a whole new life; I'm a whole new person, in fact.

I love my new job; I love my boyfriend; I love our new puppy, Rasta. But I miss having friends. A core group of friends sitting up late together: talking, laughing, being silly and young. I don't have that anymore.

Not only do I not have that, but I feel like I don't have a close friend in the world, aside from my love. I call people to hang out and never get called in return. I know that I can be hard to be friends with...I'm emotional; I have mood swings; I get my feelings hurt easily; I get down and depressed and stay there for days on end. But, I try my best to be a good friend. Maybe my best isn't good enough.

That being said, I get into these slumps where I feel like the world hates me, and for good reason. As the song says...I guess I'll go eat worms.

Movies seen in the past 2 days:
Inglourious Basterds
Law-Abiding Citizen

Helter Skelter

Apparently I enjoy using the names of Beatles songs for titles. They make me happy :)

I've decided to start blogging again because I need some sort of outlet. After graduating in December, life has become very different. No more constant studying, paper deadlines, final exams...for now. I really, REALLY hope to get into graduate school...although I'm not really looking forward to getting back into the world of academia, I think I NEED to. School is what I'm good at. I don't really have any other talents besides writing grammatically correct papers, and that skill isn't really beneficial outside of the realm of academics.

For now, I'm enjoying life in College Station. About two months ago, Aaron and I adopted a Boxer/American Bulldog puppy who we named Rasta. The name is fitting as he seems to love reggae and all things Jamaican. At least, we assume he does :) Rasta has fulfilled that ever-present-motherhood-urge that has been nagging me for awhile now. However, he is much more of a handful than I had expected a puppy to be. He has already destroyed the first kennel we bought him, as well as my beloved CHI flat-iron and the power cord for my laptop. He has also ruined the decorative trim in the bathroom. Despite these catastrophes, I cannot believe the love I feel for this little creature. The feeling makes me excited to one day be a mother.

Books read in the last month:
Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane
The Road by Cormac McCarthy

Moves I've recently seen:
Shutter Island
Zombieland